Naruto's Big Sausage
by Legendarydolphinman
Summary: Naruto Fanfiction cliche, Naruto's pee pee tend to be a bit too big for a child like him. So here's a oneshot about his peepee being too big and people's response about it in canon.


When Naruto was six years old, the old man Third Hokage had give him a piggyback ride.

While Naruto was having fun riding the Third Hokage's back, the Third Hokage was sweating bullets because he felt a "Six-Inch" Sausage that was burning through to his back.

 _'How the hell are you this big Naruto?! I know for sure Minato is smaller than mine, and mine is a wrinkly old one that was "Five-Inch" during it's prime of it life! You have surpass my prime self at Six years old. SIX YEARS OLD!'_

* * *

6 Years later...

"Hey hey Sakura-chan go out with me!" Naruto asked.

"No. Naruto I do not want to go out with you cause you have demon on you." Sakura rejected bluntly.

Sakura then left while Naruto felt dejected.

Naruto understood why Sakura said that he had a demon on him. He had after all had a "Eleven-Inch" third leg on him. And Naruto knew it was the clear reason why all the villagers hated him.

The average male villager had the average size of "Four-Inch" which would considered "Human", while Naruto had the size of "Eleven-Inch" and that could only be considered as a "Demon" in comparison to the "Human" size.

The men of the Village hated him because they were jealous of his size. While the women of the Village hated him because their men weren't that big in size compared to his.

* * *

After a long of period of training in preparation to fight against Zabuza and his accomplice.

Naruto was sleeping on empty grass field. His "Eleven-Inch" was a lumber log sitting up on top of Naruto.

Then Haku came and saw it.

"Oh!" Haku gasped in shock.

Naruto then woke up and immediately stand. Naruto then saw Haku and thought, _'She's definitely way cuter than Sakura-chan!'_

"Hello, my name is Haku and your is?" Haku said nervously.

"My name's Naruto, pleased to meet Haku-neechan." Naruto smiled.

"Naruto, how much did you masturbate to achieve such length?" Haku asked while staring at Naruto's "Eleven-Inch".

"I don't masturbate at all. I think this is all natural." Naruto responded.

"..."

"..."

"Hey Naruto guess what, I'm a boy." Haku said.

"WHAT?!" Naruto's "Eleven-Inch" got more stiff and rises a bit.

"Uh? Naruto I don't swing that way." Haku stated confirming his ethnicity.

"ME NEITHER!"

"Okay then... so I'm going to leave now. Good bye!" Haku left in a hurry.

"...still prettier than Sakura-chan. That's why. Please let it be that reason. I'M NOT INTO GUYS!" Naruto told himself.

* * *

"You guys have passed the 1st part of the Chunin Exams, Congratulations!" Ibiki Morino stated.

"YATTA!" Naruto stood up very quickly.

At the same time, Anko Mitarashi entered the room and shouted.

"The name's Anko Mitarashi, the second proctor for the second part of the Chunin Exams!"

Naruto was standing and his "Eleven-Inch" was in public. Anko's eyes were bulging once she seen it and thought *'How in the hell does a brat had such a thing?!'*

"Ah! that's...thank you for knowing how sexy I am but I am not a pedophile so I'm not i-interested?" Anko stuttered at the end not cause of nervousness but of shock.

"What, NO!" Naruto responded quickly to try to prevent a misunderstanding.

But the room already seen it the "Eleven-Inch" and were dazed already. The foreign female participants were flushing red in their faces, while the foreign male participants were straining their faces in anger.

* * *

Naruto just needed to hit Gaara to wake him up of being inside that sand monster. But he had just jumped to high.

Instead of his fist hitting Gaara first, his "Eleven-Inch" did it first and it awoke Gaara from his slumber.

"SHITTTTTTTTTTTT!" Naruto shouted.

Gaara realized he had just hit by such a thing was then traumatized and felt dazed.

2 Years later...

The Kazekage, formerly known as "Gaara of the Sand" is now more infamously known as "Gaara of the Bitches" knowing for slapping his dick against every single person he met, whether acquaintance or strangers now.

"Why does he do it?" is a famous question among the masses. Gaara simply responded.

"Because Naruto Uzumaki smack me in the face with his and acquired my friendship by doing so. Therefore this is only path I can take to make friends."

* * *

The 2 years of training of Naruto and Jiraiya-Sensei was finally over and Naruto was back at Konoha again.

Finally Naruto felt like he accomplish something. He had finally learned to tame his inner beast. His one true demon. The monster that made the Villagers hated him.

Yes. He had finally tamed his dick to his control.

Naruto first met Sakura-chan.

"Hey Naruto do you think I look cute?" Sakura asked while twirling her hair with one hand.

"Yeah I think you look cute Sakura-chan." Naruto replied cheerfully.

Sakura then stared at Naruto and repeated her question.

"I mean it Naruto, do you think I look cute at all?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah!"

Sakura then stared harder. It wasn't staring at the eyes, the face, or the body. But rather it was to Naruto's crotch.

Seeing there was no reaction, Sakura's self esteem took a huge blow because Naruto's thing would always be responsive to her in the past. But now since it didn't, it clearly had meant that Sakura was basically uglier than before.

Sakura then punched Naruto and launched him a bit and shouted,

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT!" Sakura then run away with tears in her eyes.

"What's the hell's going on with Sakura-chan?" Naruto was confused then thought _'Oh well.'_

Naruto then met up with Team 8...

Hinata literally ran up and hug Naruto very out of character-like especially for Hinata.

"Naruto I'm ready for you. I remember that you like long hair and a large chest." Hinata stated while posing off her features to Naruto.

"Um..." Naruto's crotch didn't responded.

Hinata then fell to ground feeling all depressed now.

"I-I knew it. I s-shouldn't have been so d-daring. Being timid and shy was the best way to go. Tsk." Hinata clicked her tongue.

"So Naruto, why aren't you popping out boners like you did when we were twelve years old. What are you? Gay now?" Kiba asked.

"I have to agree with Kiba here. Are you gay now Naruto?" Shino asked as well.

"What?! NO! I simply tamed it." Naruto said.

"""Tamed it?""" Team 8 all said at once.

"Yes I went on a training period and learned to not release it out anymore."

"Okay then, this is clearly some bullshit here!" Kiba said, "Clearly you took some drugs and reduce the size over time."

"Please. I'm telling the truth here." Naruto said.

"I have to agree with Kiba again, one does simply not control a behemoth." Shino said.

The conversation is then start repeating itself. Naruto then finally get sick of talking and shouted:

"Fine then. Let me release out the monster you all been waiting for!"

Naruto's thing transform in size. It was no longer normal. It went beyond "Eleven-Inch". And it was a "Seventeen-Inch" monster among monsters!

Hinata face turned red as roses and then she fainted.

"THAT ISN'T JUST A MONSTER. THAT'S A MONSTER GOD IF I EVER SEEN ONE!" Kiba shouted.

"Clearly this is the tool can only be possessed by the chosen one that will repopulate humanity." Shino said because his brain simply fried out of shock. "All hail the one true pimp king!"

Naruto then internally wept once he realize that. That people hated him cause of his big size. People also hated him when his size is small.


End file.
